Who I Miss
Fandom: Doctor Who, Supernatural
Characters: Castiel, the Tenth Doctor, mentions of others
Description: "You miss them." "No." "You're lying."
Rating: K+
Warning: Random angsty fluff
A/N: NO, it's not boy love. Stop it while you're ahead. It's platonic friend stuff. I'll do the boy love stuff in a different one-shot...
xXx
Silence filled the room. A dark, oppressive silence that seemed to both stifle breath and halt one's thoughts. A few rooms over, the sound of love-making was brutishly loud, and yet it didn't seem to hinder the sticky silence. It was almost as if the occupants of the room could remain untouched, even by sound itself.
A breath was drawn, through parted lips. Finally. Finally, he could breathe. Not that he technically needed to, but in the last months, he'd grown so used to pretending he was human that- no. That didn't matter. It was all over now, and dwelling on it would surely only lead to madness.
"You miss them."
This said by his companion, a deceptively young-looking man with messy brown hair and dark, somber eyes that stared at him, and through him. But then, that had always been this man's way. He knew things that he shouldn't, saw things that no other would see, no matter how hard the first tried to hide it.
"No," the first said flatly. His eyes were lowered. Blue eyes. He'd seen them in the mirror enough - fringed by dark blond, little-cared-about hair - to picture them. They weren't really 'his' though. They never had been.
"You're lying." There was a note of sad amusement to his companion's voice, as if he noticed the irony of this being doing something like lying. "I know you."
"What do you know?" Blue eyes flashed as they lifted, glaring at his companion furiously.
"I know that those boys were good for you, in their own way," his companion replied calmly, undaunted by his mutinous stare. "I've never seen you more human than you are now."
The first was almost insulted, if he hadn't known what his companion meant. "I'm not human," he said pointedly. "Why should I act like one?"
"It's better," his companion said softly. "Especially compared to how you were... Castiel... I love you, you know that."
There was a brief pause. A hesitation on his companion's part. And Castiel heard the unspoken word before it came. "But?" he prompted softly, as he'd heard those boys do so many times.
"But you were never an easy person to deal with," his companion said, sighing and sitting back on the bed. A clean bed, if somewhat rumpled by half a night's sleep. Interrupted by Castiel's arrival.
Castiel looked down, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself. He wasn't easy to deal with, was he? Well, he still wasn't. He'd come and interrupted his friend's night of sleep, just for his own petty reasons. Then again, the other had not complained, and likely wouldn't.
"I should go," Castiel said softly, but made no move to do so. It was here, if no other place, that he could go completely unguarded. This man wouldn't ever allow someone to sneak up on him. This man would never make him feel unwelcome, or turn away from him. This man was like no other.
"You don't have to," the other replied softly. "In fact, I'd like it if you stayed."
Castiel frowned, staring down at his hands. "Why?" he asked, voice dead.
"Because I want you here," his friend said. "Because I'm lonely." He sighed. "She's gone, my last companion. Her name was Donna, and she was brilliant, but she's gone. Just like all the rest."
Castiel lifted his gaze, saw that his friend was no longer looking at him. He said nothing, but the Doctor had always been very good at filling the silence if he wanted.
"This always happens, you know," he whispered, predictably. "It always happens." He ran his hand through his hair, down his face. His expression was pained. "I had to erase her memories, Castiel. Every last one that had the slightest bit to do with me. She looked at me and didn't know who I was."
"I'm sorry," Castiel whispered, not needing it to be explained. He knew the Doctor wouldn't have done such a thing unless it meant that she would live.
The Doctor gave him a sad smile. "Stay here, with me. Until I wake up?" he asked softly.
Castiel wondered who this companionship was to be for. Was it for the Doctor, to stave off the heart-aching loneliness? Or was it for Castiel, to ease the pain of parting? There was no telling, and it was unlikely that the Doctor would tell him. So he just sighed and nodded. "I'll stay."
xXx
For your reading pleasure. Set somewhere after the Tenth and Donna part ways, and after Castiel goes all God-like. You can read more of my stuff here or here. And here.
